Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Just when it couldn't get anyworse...

After my tirade yesterday, I began to feel a little better.  I aired my grievances against the Mormon church.  I was beginning to see a little light on the horizon, until I came across an email.  It was a communication from one of my wife's friend.   He had written it to her.  After reading it I confronted her about the content.  He is a highly educated and articulate individual.  I have known him for 20+ years.  I have always had the utmost respect for this individual, until now.

The letter contained information about marriage counselors.  He was responding to her questions about counselors specializing in "faith crisis".  Right off the bat, my friend came out swinging.  He listed some LDS family services counselors, names and numbers.  That was followed by the statement, "He thought it looks like a good option, IF (my emphasis) CS wants to make your marriage work".   Right away I knew this email was going to be trouble.  He has no idea what I have been through the last 3 years, the tears and effort I have done in trying to make my marriage work.  After that statement it was all downhill.

He gave my wife props for her strong testimony,  that hers wasn't based on, "collection of facts or anecdotes that can be challenged".  Dig number 2.   That was followed by, "remember that Joseph IS (sic) a true prophet, the Book of Mormon IS (sic) true, and Church IS (sic) true and continues to be led by the Savior through modern prophets.  You know it and I know it...".  He wasn't pulling any punches.   He continued: that nothing the enemies of truth say or do can change those testimonies, no matter how much they lie, distort the truth, or try to focus on irrelevant details.    Now I'm considered an enemy of truth, dig #3.

He told my wife that I'm spiritually sick.  "...CS right now as being spiritually sick, which is more like MENTAL ILLNESS (my emphasis)  than physical illness.  It's like he's developed SCHIZOPHRENIA (my emphasis) , where he might seem physically fine but something in his brain isn't working right" dig #4.  I don't even know how to respond to those allegations.  I have been married 20+ years.  Faithful to my wife.  I have been there for her during good and bad.  I have never shown any signs of mental illness in the past.  This was very offensive to me.

He finished up with some cheap shots about my bad influence and if it gets too bad for my wife that they would understand and support her if she wants to take the kids away or if she wants to stay married.   As I write about this email, it sounds humorou,s and I'm making light of his ad hominem attack on me.  It cut me to the core.  It demoralized me.  It discredited me as a husband and father and invalidated me as an human being.  Over the last 3 years going through this transition, I have never broken down, until yesterday.   I told my wife this is why ex members are so bitter toward the church.   This  letter offended me on every level.  I guess the TBMs are right that we all leave because we are offended.  Stick around long enough and you will be offended.


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