Friday, November 20, 2015

I guess Elvis has returned from the grave....

Just a few more thoughts running around in my head...which I wanted to voice on virtual paper.  The recent "clarification" of the new policy of the church has done little to stop the criticism nor the pain created from their handbook change.  I have talked to several believing friends about their feelings of the change. Their response has been the church's reason; "the protection of the children".  I cannot fathom the pain this policy has caused to children of the LGBT community nor to the parents  themselves.  Even many believing members are struggling with this change.  This policy has been the final straw for many fence sitting members to resign.  I  understand the struggle to leave the church.  It is not easy nor would I wish it on anyone, but I am so happy I did it. 

I just wanted to vent about this policy and the new class of member it created.  As an apostate, it seems weird and surreal to think that my children can progress and move along in the church but a believing gay person, who is living with his/her spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend cannot.  If I didn't resign from the church, I should have been kicked out.  It would have been a matter of time. I came to the conclusion that it was all a lie. I ranted and posted things online. I was active on ex-Mormon chat groups and sites.  I debated my bishop in his office for over an hour toward the end of my belief.  I was becoming more outspoken and vocal about the church and its teachings/policies/doctrine.  Considering all this, my kids could still be baptized, ordained to the priesthood, and even be on the records of the church.   My gay neighbor, sorry you are out of luck.

I have since gotten to a better spot.  I don't feel the anger as I once had.  I have "moved on". But I don't think one can totally and completely "move on"....we all can slip back into the anger phase.  We are all human.  But to be honest I am not angry about this handbook change, only sad by this whole circus.  I am married to a beautiful wife who is a complete believer, my children are active and fully participate and believe in the church. We are doing the best we can to navigate my faith change.  We have grown as a family and are dancing around the elephant in the room. 

The point of this post is to show that if the church was really concerned about the children, they would apply the same policies to my children and their situation. They are hearing that their father, who is not perfect but a good person and father, is wrong, mistaken and lost.  I know it has and will continue to confuse them. But the church doesn't apply the same rules and restrictions to my family as it does to my neighbor who is gay.  The gay members are a new class of members.   The church has created a new caste system.  And I, in all my apostate "ness", is on a higher level than my gay friends.   I know it all comes down to perspective but the rules should apply to of us fellow apostates.

Dave Johnson
Salt Lake City, UT
AKA C.S.

2 comments:

  1. Hello,

    My name is John Draper. You don't know me from Adam. What led me to you is I'm a first-time novelist who is furiously marketing his first book, A Danger to God Himself. As such, I'm continually scouring the internet looking for blogs who might be willing to review my book.

    My book is about a Mormon missionary who goes insane on his mission. I'd like to send you a free copy, paperback or Kindle.

    Let me tell you the story behind my story:

    Writing this novel cost me my religion. I’m not bitter or anything. Actually, it was liberating.

    I started the book eight years ago as an Evangelical who wanted to skewer Mormonism. The book took me eight years to write. I probably read 25 books on Mormonism (and read everything on Mormonthink at least twice) and 25 books on schizophrenia. What’s more, I started attending a local ward undercover.

    Long story short, I saw that devout Latter-day Saints had the same religion I had, really. Basically, we both loved God and Christ and we wanted to serve God and live more like Christ. I had to admit, the only difference between us was the words we used to describe our experience.

    Further, I came to realize that the only reason I believed what I believed was that someone had told me to believe it.

    I was just like so many Latter-day Saints and Evangelicals—if not all.

    Bottom line, I became an agnostic.

    The novel is narrated in the first person by Kenny, the missionary companion who watches his companion, Jared, succumb to schizophrenia. At first, Kenny and others assume that the voices Jared is hearing and the visions he’s seeing are from Heavenly Father.

    But as Jared gets sicker and sicker, Kenny has to rethink his whole view of God and how God does or doesn’t interact with the world. Kenny’s journey became my journey: theist to, at best, deist.

    So . . . I’d like to send you a free copy of my novel. I’m hoping you’ll write a book review—good, bad, or indifferent. Or maybe you’d like to interview me. Or maybe I could do a guest post.

    If nothing else, you get a free book out of this.

    Obviously, I want to sell more books, but I really think this book would be of interest to your subscribers. I think they will be able to see themselves in Kenny.

    I know the book's not for everyone. My mother, for example, loved it but complained it contained too much vulgarity. I'm not sure how much vulgarity is too much, but the book does contain 91 F Bombs. (I counted.)

    Let me know if you would like to talk more.

    Thanks for your time

    -john
    Hoju1959@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello,

    My name is John Draper. You don't know me from Adam. What led me to you is I'm a first-time novelist who is furiously marketing his first book, A Danger to God Himself. As such, I'm continually scouring the internet looking for blogs who might be willing to review my book.

    My book is about a Mormon missionary who goes insane on his mission. I'd like to send you a free copy, paperback or Kindle.

    Let me tell you the story behind my story:

    Writing this novel cost me my religion. I’m not bitter or anything. Actually, it was liberating.

    I started the book eight years ago as an Evangelical who wanted to skewer Mormonism. The book took me eight years to write. I probably read 25 books on Mormonism (and read everything on Mormonthink at least twice) and 25 books on schizophrenia. What’s more, I started attending a local ward undercover.

    Long story short, I saw that devout Latter-day Saints had the same religion I had, really. Basically, we both loved God and Christ and we wanted to serve God and live more like Christ. I had to admit, the only difference between us was the words we used to describe our experience.

    Further, I came to realize that the only reason I believed what I believed was that someone had told me to believe it.

    I was just like so many Latter-day Saints and Evangelicals—if not all.

    Bottom line, I became an agnostic.

    The novel is narrated in the first person by Kenny, the missionary companion who watches his companion, Jared, succumb to schizophrenia. At first, Kenny and others assume that the voices Jared is hearing and the visions he’s seeing are from Heavenly Father.

    But as Jared gets sicker and sicker, Kenny has to rethink his whole view of God and how God does or doesn’t interact with the world. Kenny’s journey became my journey: theist to, at best, deist.

    So . . . I’d like to send you a free copy of my novel. I’m hoping you’ll write a book review—good, bad, or indifferent. Or maybe you’d like to interview me. Or maybe I could do a guest post.

    If nothing else, you get a free book out of this.

    Obviously, I want to sell more books, but I really think this book would be of interest to your subscribers. I think they will be able to see themselves in Kenny.

    I know the book's not for everyone. My mother, for example, loved it but complained it contained too much vulgarity. I'm not sure how much vulgarity is too much, but the book does contain 91 F Bombs. (I counted.)

    Let me know if you would like to talk more.

    Thanks for your time

    -john
    Hoju1959@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete