Today's post may be shorter than normal. Lately, I haven't been as angry with, or as focused on revealing the truth about the Mormon church. I have been dealing with my faith issue for over 3 years--3 years of my own personal purgatory. Although I would hardly classify myself as recovered from Mormonism, I have been able to find peace in a spiritual way. No, I'm not going back to the Mormon church. But I have found something better that has helped and allowed me to focus on more positive things in life. I think we, as humans, are wired genetically to have purpose and believe in spiritual things. It must be in our DNA. With that, I may be posting less frequently than I have in the past. But don't worry, the Mormon church will continue to do irritating things that I must call foul, and trying to keep a mixed--faith marriage together will have its ups and downs. So I will always be here, ready to post when things get ugly.
Being in a mixed--faith marriage I have felt the bitter judgement of my wife. I have seen the eyes of sorrow in the local ward members. I am officially a project, now. I'm on the radar and can feel the "love" coming from my fellow "Christians". I have seen members go out of their way to talk to me. I have been sought out and personally invited to attend a member's gospel doctrine lesson. I was promised that I wouldn't have to answer any questions but that she really wanted me to be there, why?. I have felt the "fatherly hand", of my local leaders, on my shoulder trying to feel my garment lines. I have sensed the whisperings of church goers discussing if I have a porn habit. And I have sat through several home teaching lessons on trusting good sources, keeping faith, developing testimonies, etc... Which leads into my post today, my latest experience with home teaching.
I must be upfront and state that there is something very invalidating about having 2 neighbors, both men, come into my home and proceed to lecture me about faith. Not only because it is front of my kids, but also because it was done in such a passive--aggressive manner. It is offensive on many levels. Of course my wife loves the lessons, she is silently praying that my issues will go away, I can come back to the church, and lead my family to the celestial kingdom. I have a suggestion, instead of ignoring my issues, how about talking about them directly? How about actually asking my views and try to understand my perspective rather than lecturing me about "staying in the boat". Only in Mormondom is it considered normal to go into a neighbor's home and begin lecturing an adult about their faith. There are no boundaries in this organization.
My wife and kids aren't stupid, these lessons are all directed at me, the apostate husband and father. By teaching these lessons, it creates confusion in my kids minds about their father. It is difficult to keep the peace with my wife while keeping my dignity intact during this process. I am undermined on all levels. The Mormon church and its teachings don't help in these situations--it only harms. I get tired of members defending the church by saying its teachings are good and it fosters good morals. I will admit that in easily defined topics such as whether or not a woman wears tank tops or drinks coffee, then yes it teaches those things. Those topics are meaningless. It doesn't make you moral if you only wear t shirts, drink diet Coke, or not drink alcohol. On topics that really mean something, the church is failing badly--such as tolerance, understanding, and building relationships.