I have taken some time off to deal with a difficult time in my life. You see my life has been a giant lie. I have been lied to, manipulated, taken advantage of, etc, etc....My religious life of Mormonism. I didn't choose this life. I was born into it. My father, a life long member and my mother a convert, raised our family Mormon. Sure the church teaches good things. Most of the teachings and lessons of the church are can keep people out of "trouble", but I have been carrying a lot of baggage worshiping in this religion called Mormonism.
The baggage: all the stress, time, money, worry, meetings, concern, etc., for an organization that has whitewashed its history from the beginning. An organization that is really just a MLM business, fronting as a church. Their product, you don't get it in this life, you receive it in the hereafter. An organization that really has no special power or authority except only in their minds. An organization that is supported on the backs of the normal members, while nepotism and family relations grant those in the club special privileges that the majority members are unaware.
It is an organization that is ripping my family apart. Once one spouse begins to question, the teachings of the church begin to "rear its ugly head". Its not my spouse's fault, we only act how we are programmed to act, and the church begins its programming very early. Attack the messenger, ME. I'm the one that has lost my way, been deceived by Satan, become proud, you name it I have been called all of the above. Instead of trying to understand my questioning, the church's programming causes members to attack the individual. The church can do no wrong, in their eyes. But I guess that's how it was from the beginning. Joseph Smith got off the hook many times, until it all came to a breaking point in Carthage.
Of course I understand, nobody wants to "air their dirty laundry". But when an organization, claiming moral and religious priority over all others, was really just a fraud to take advantage of gullible people then someone needs to throw out the dirty water. This blog was a way for me to vent my anger and frustration and allow me to clear my mind. I hate this cult of Mormonism. This may seem harsh, but it is destroying my marriage and that makes me upset. Members claim that those who leave the church have an ax to grind, well maybe they should walk in a questioner's shoes before making that statement. We do have an ax to grind, but we are justified because we have walked through hell to sharpen that ax.